Last night I realized that my life has no meaning if I am not working towards something bigger and better than what I have or where I am right now. At the moment, I am stuck in a job that I really don't enjoy at all anymore, but I promised to stay until at least after Christmas. I am stuck in a lease until next August (read: 10 more months) and I am not in school. So I need a new motivation, a new goal. Something that I can control and work towards and will challenge me. I decided to really commit to working out both at Curves and running with Patsy. I also really want to eat better. I guess my real hope is to lose weight as a result of those two desires, but I don't want that to be my only focus, because it's a lot harder when that's all you think about. I went to Curves yesterday and I ran today. Tomorrow I am scheduled for Curves. So far so good.
Christmas is coming up too, and I am making a lot of the gifts I am giving, so I guess that should be a goal too-getting them done. I suppose I should start looking for a new job. I didn't realize it until yesterday, but I was really hoping that Georgia would provide an out, job wise. I need to find some confidence somewhere, enough to get me to apply to jobs and believe that I have skills to do something. Ugh. And then there's the whole 'boy' thing. That will probably show up last on my list, as it has forever. I need to prove to myself that I can accomplish the other things first before I will believe I am able to be liked or loved by someone I don't know yet. One thing at a time I guess.