Monday, June 30, 2008

Be patient young grasshopper

You may or may not be looking for my version of the long wedding weekend I was a part of recently. I am here to tell you that you will have to wait, cause it is late, and I am tired. But...oooooh! look at the pretty sunset! Also, my bobby pin count is........107! When I counted on Saturday night I got exactly 100, but... I was mighty tired then, and intoxicated. So I bagged them up to count again, and I am glad I did! 107 bobby pins is a lot, my friend.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Thank GOD!

So. I shouldn't be bored, its true, I am working. But I am, so thank you EAHH for your request to participate in a survey. I am totally there.

  1. Movie that best represents your love life: I dunno. Halloween H20?
  2. Favorite college class: Abnormal Psychology
  3. Least favorite college class: Probably Algebra. It's the only one where I cried routinely during the exams
  4. Vocalist you’d most want to sound like: Perhaps Neko Case
  5. Worst date you’ve ever been on: D, all of the above
  6. Favorite pair of shoes: Green Pumas that once spent a whole summer under a friend's pile of laundry
  7. Beverage you most commonly consume when out on the town: Beer. Hello-Wisconsinite here!
  8. Name a song you consider a guilty pleasure: Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne. It's super great to run to!
  9. Ever worn fishnets? If so, when was the last occasion? No. no no no.
  10. Best concert you’ve ever been to: I haven't been to enough to define a 'best'
  11. Actor/actress you can’t stand: Mandy Moore?
  12. Person you would punch if you ran into them, and there wasn’t going to be any consequences: G.W.B or my brother in law
  13. If you won a shopping spree and could choose any store, what store would you choose? Boston Store or Macys
  14. Favorite aspect of summer: Lounging outside
  15. Relative you’d most enjoy getting drunk with: my nephew Lee
  16. First item you’d purchase if you won the lottery: a house in Madison. And that's probably the ONLY way I will ever afford one, anyway.
  17. Favorite bar or restaurant: Cheers. Yes, the tv show bar. This question is much too general for me to pick one place to eat. I love too many places.
  18. Worst injury: Broken Arm, circa 1991
  19. If you had to pick a karaoke song to sing this very moment, what would you choose? Meh. I have never done karaoke and I probably never will. But since I HAVE to, maybe 'Carey' by Joni Mitchell
  20. If you could change an aspect of your childhood, what would it be? I wouldn't have been subjected to 4th and 5th grade at Miller Elementary.
  21. If you had to eat the same meal for two weeks straight (and didn’t have any monetary restrictions), what would it be? No consequences for my health either? For some reason, I am thinking Chicken Pot Pie. I dunno.
  22. Is there a movie that you still haven’t seen, and that most people have? Yeah, probably. Like Wayne's World
  23. Most valuable possession that you’ve lost or had stolen: mmm. Cell phone (s)
  24. Song you’d have playing at your funeral: First thought, Instant Karma (we all shine on), John Lennon
  25. Hobby you’ve considered taking up: Windsurfing
  26. If someone made a movie of your life, what band/artist would most likely be on the soundtrack? I have no idea.
  27. Worst haircut or color you’ve ever had: The one where I could impersonate 'The Donald'
  28. Article of clothing you’re now embarrassed that you wore in public: HUGE t-shirts. Like 5 sizes too big.
  29. Favorite caffeinated beverage:Vanilla Latte
  30. Favorite high school memory: Either 'skippy', or Holman Show Choir Competition. Or Voice lesson. I was really happy at voice lessons.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Mawedge is what brings us togetha today.

Alright. I am not going to keep quiet about it anymore. I know I am not the only one, so I am going to suck it up and take one for the team. Wedding etiquette is totally confusing. Nobody knows what they are supposed to be doing. I am playing it by ear 100%, which works, but it would be so much better if I knew what was expected. For example: It is completely taboo to ask what you are responsible for paying for when you are in the wedding party. It shouldn't be, I don't think, because this varies for every single wedding and everyone thinks something different. I am willing to pay for whatever I am asked to/expected to/should/need to pay for. I'm excited to be in one of my best friend's wedding next weekend, but the details surrounding it are confusing.

It isn't odd that I don't know what is going on. Disclosing the kind of information that I am missing isn't polite, or normal, or probably even expected. I don't know. I have been in three other weddings, but they were all for family members, and I was probably 16 when I was in the latest one. My parents paid for everything, a gift wasn't expected, I didn't attend showers, I just showed up and did what I was told to do, basically. So this is basically a whole new ball of wax.

I would ask you, my readers, what your opinion is on bridal party etiquette, but probably 75% of you are in the same wedding I am in, so it doesn't make sense. If there's anyone out there with more experience, let me know!

Specific questions:
  • Do the people in the wedding party give gifts to the couple individually or together?
    • Some respondents to this question have said that the party doesn't give gifts because of the expense incurred involving the ceremony, i.e. travel, dress/rental, shoes, time loss at work, etc.
    • The party that I am a part of decided that we WANT to give gifts, and because we are all over the country, that we will give them individually.
  • When there is a bridal shower, do you buy two gifts? One for the shower and one for the wedding?
    • Even if the custom calls for two gifts, it isn't possible for me to adhere to that, so I purchased one gift, but I don't know when to give it!
  • If you are not told how much something will cost, but it is something absolutely required, does that mean that you are still paying for it?
    • The most major cost is in the bridesmaid dress, so usually it is pretty obvious who will be responsible for paying for it (only the rarest and richest of couples are able to provide dresses). There are many other costs that come up, though. I am 99% sure that the rehearsal dinner is paid for, but what about housing accommodations or hair styling (for the ladies)?
  • What is the maid of honor's role?
    • One thing I know from this experience is that the m.o.h is the one who plans the bachelorette party. I am thinking that if it is a self contained, more formal event, with guests, invitations, a rented venue, etc, the m.o.h. probably pays for some of it herself.
    • I am guessing that the Best Man's role is pretty much the same as the M.O.H. But I am not a guy, and I have never stood behind the groom, so I can't be so sure.

I know this is all very tacky and taboo for me to be writing about. But I know that I can't be the only one with these questions, cause nobody I have asked has been able to give me a straight answer. Also, I am a poor, post-college single woman. This is my excuse for why many of my concerns center around money. I also understand that many of the answers to these questions change with the conditions surrounding each specific wedding. The age, social situation, cultural background, stage in life and possible previous weddings all effect those answers.

Beyond all of my questions and confusions, I am totally pumped to stand up and say that, 'Yes, I approve of this relationship, and I am proud to witness this beautiful ceremony of love commitment between two people whom I care about.' I am also pretty freaking excited to attend the associated parties with my BEST friends and celebrate like I've never done before. That's all, ya'll

Friday, June 20, 2008


So guys. The meeting wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I kept forgetting who I was talking to in the 'formal' sense. I just felt like I was explaining my life to someone who cared, which made things a lot easier. Somehow, I told her things that I didn't even tell you guys. The ideas just came to me while I was there. She took my insecurities like a champ, without even making me feel a little bad about how I felt. Add caffeine to the mix, and I felt very introspective and slightly high from the experience.

I wasn't wanting to leave (for overseas). Amanda encouraged me to think about my reasons for wanting to go abroad, the fact that I felt like I was running away from the things that weren't happening for me here, and to consider why that might not be the best reason to go. She thinks I should try to find something to do overseas that I might actually like to do. What a concept, right? Or I should go somewhere where I can learn things too, like possibly to a Spanish speaking country, where I could take classes to learn the language. Cause really, Spanish would be a huge bonus to me. The dang languages opens doors. Amanda also calmed some of my fears about losing contact with the people that I have gotten to know in the church. I was afraid that she might leave and go to another church, I was afraid that people would move away and I would never see them again. Basically, she reassured me that I wouldn't be forgotten about, that we would keep in contact if I wanted, that I would be supported.

After considering not doing it for a couple hours, I think I still want to do it. I mean, besides HATING to quit something once I have decided on it, I really would like to go on adventure, be challenged and come home changed somewhat. I do NOT want to leave my friends, family and community, but at least I am free to do what I want right now. Plus, my friends? They are all gone (physically speaking) anyway. Now is the time. It's going to be hard, but hopefully great. Right now, I am thinking, "Lets get this thing started." Just don't abandon me, friends.


Today should be a rather uneventful day, with one special exception: My friend GINGER is a year older today! Happy Birthday Ginger! I won't say your age, we will let your faithful readers try to figure that one out on their own. But, I do take...?pride? in knowing that you will always be half a year older than me. Wait, that's not all that exciting. Plus, you will probably live longer than me anyway. Well, this post just got depressing. Went straight from birth to death in like 10 seconds.

I am at Zuzu cafe right now, waiting for Amanda. We are talking about the fact that I am leaving...a meeting instigated by me, so I will probably be responsible for most of the conversation, something that scares me just enough to liquefy my insides a bit. I wanted to get here first, settle down and wait, and that's just what I did. Not a small feat considering it isn't even 8 o'clock. That gives you, my lucky ones, a sneak peek into how riled up I can get over something so small. I can get up at 6:30, a half an hour earlier than necessary (holy shit, I spelled it right on the first time!) and I am all jazzed up on my own homegrown caffeine. It's like I have super powers. I am ANXIETY GIRL! Don't mess with me or I will get all nervous.... yeah, not intimidating.

Can you tell that I am just randomly blathering to keep busy right now? Unfortunately you get to suffer with me. I will let you off the hook for right now. Must go, I guess.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Uke

I am grateful that Bob Uecker (like You Ker) still does the commentary on public radio for the Milwaukee Brewers. He's old, like... he has been doing the commentary for the Brewers for 15 years longer than I have been alive. The sound of his voice drags me back to late nights riding in the backseat of a car, half asleep. Back to cookouts, campouts, family gatherings, to backyards, garages, and basements. My dad's side of the family has always been very into the Brewers, so Bob's voice became part of my childhood soundtrack.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Is it weird that I just emailed someone almost entirely because of my lack of personal emails coming in lately? I LIKE personal emails. Questions asked and answered, people getting confused, the deep desire or NEED to check my email every hour. It's good, guys. Real good.

On another note, I now have tied last years total posts! 88! I think this might be a more productive posting year... as long as I don't die before I post again! dun dun DUN!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


Just taking a break to tell you all how happy and content I am feeling right now. Sitting on my porch, cleaning and cutting up strawberries that I picked this morning with a friend. In the sun. It's a beautiful day and I couldn't feel much better, I don't think.

Note the mood swing from a couple of days ago. What could this mean?

Monday, June 16, 2008

Not so bad

Yesterday I was awash with emotions about being lonely, not having friends, and being a loser in general because I didn't have anything planned to do with my three day vacation. There was a while that I was so anxious that I considered seeing a doc to get back on some anti-anxiety drugs. But, Um... I think I am over it. I am starting to like not having a schedule planned out by necessity (and I HATE that word).

I got an interesting email today from a guy named alexander. Right off the bat, a hint of where he is writing from. Yes, Russia. This is what he said:

Dear Jennifer,

Thank you for applying to work for English First in Russia.

We have read your details with interest and would like to take the process further.

We currently have vacancies in our schools located in Moscow.

Could you please send us your CV and scanned copies of your qualifications?

Could also complete the Teacher Candidate Details form?

Find attached the FAQ document which will hopefully answer any questions you may have.

We look forward to hearing from you.



The double spacing makes me think that it got all scrambled on its journey half way around the world, and those extra spaces got thrown in when it was put back together. Also...what the hell!? They want me? Russia wants me. I don't have a CV written, I don't know what papers I would have detailing my qualifications, but I did fill out the attached Teacher Candidate Details form. The other stuff with give me something to do on Tuesday and Wednesday when 'it all becomes too much for me to handle'. I am sure I will think that exact quote sometime soon.

I got my very expensive hair done today too. I am not sure if anyone will be able to tell that it is 'different'. But I really like it. Pic!
I really have no excuse for the sexpot face. Live with it. Tell me what you think, though.

I have had a few questions about what 'Diva Dash' means. It's a 5K race on July 13th that I will be participating in here in Madison. You, and everyone you know is welcome to attend, but you must cheer for me, and not point and laugh. Those are my requirements. Here's the official info: Diva Dash

Saturday, June 14, 2008


Yours Truly ran a full three miles this morning. Bring it, Diva Dash!

Thursday, June 12, 2008


So, it was one of those long ass days, that I am too tired to describe, but really do deserve description. Hit it, 'points!

  • 7:30am Coffee with Hooferchicks
  • Return projector to district office
  • work til 2
  • Make 3 batches of rice crispy treats
  • TORNADO WARNING -to the basement!
  • Kids come at work
  • TORNADO WARNING - to the basement!
  • Kids eat rice crispy treats and play a while
  • TORNADO WARNING - to the basement! Where we spend the rest of the afternoon, hot, sweaty and bored. What a way to end the year. Makes the transition easier for me, I think.
  • Home, finally
  • Vegetables - first pick up from our CSA! Radishes, garlic something (looks like clover flowers), spinach, salad mix, chives and a basil plant! They gave us a little plant in a pot!
  • Wine with Greg at Barriques. Fun time!
  • Throw in a couple more TORNADO WARNINGS in there, cause there were like 15 tornadoes today, we were basically always under a warning.
To bed I said!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Mixed emotions

When are emotions not mixed? For me, every utter happiness is tainted with a little sadness or nervousness or something. Tomorrow is going to be a longish day. I accepted the invitation to have coffee with some Hoofer friends at (gasp!) 7:30am, then I work the usual 9:30-2 at the Candyhell. I was supposed to make Rice Krispie Treats with the kids for the last two days, which I never got around to doing. So they told me to make them at home tonight and just bring them for the kids to eat, I would be paid for doing it. Sounds like a good deal, except when you are ME and you forget the stuff at the school. Now I will be driving to the main office between jobs and returning the projector, then driving back to the school to make the Treats before the youngins get there. Please know that I would not be doing all of this if it weren't the VERY LAST DAY.

I am excited for it to be the VERY LAST DAY but at the same time, I am sad that I won't get to see my Ula, or my Riley or any of the other kiddies again. EVER. Maybe tomorrow will be super hard! Then it would be easy.

After work, I am meeting Greg for some coffee or wine. Probably wine. I mean, it is the VERY LAST DAY. Celebration is in order. Or drowning of the sorrows. I say, both! And, yes, I believe this to be a date with a guy I have actually met. lol. That sounds so weird. I am NOT going to get super pumped up about wine and boy. I will keep you 'posted'. lol.

Speaking of puns, today I was opening a sesame seed packet for one of those 'simply asia' bowls, and I couldn't get it to rip. So I yelled, "OPEN!...sesame". And then laughed at my pathetic joke for like 5 minutes. I kill me.


So, in case this comes up for you, my advice is as follows. After attending two emotional funerals, don't follow it up by watching the series finale of Six Feet Under in the next week. It will mess you up.

Otherwise, Six Feet Under is the best show I have EVER seen. I recommend it wholeheartedly.

I am thankful for the time I have had thus far in my life and for whatever time I have left.

Monday, June 9, 2008


I am at Panera Bread right now. Just finished stuffing my face after a hard day of work and little food; a recipe for disaster.

As you may have noticed from my last post, this weekend was exhausting and emotionally draining. In addition, my general emotional well being has begun to slip. I am second guessing myself more, I feel much more inhibited, anxiety stricken and self conscience. One example to illustrate my point: As you may recall, I went out with Amanda et al last Tuesday and didn't have my wallet with me to pay for my portion of the bill (which I was totally upfront about before we even left). So I owed Amanda $15, no problem. I tried to give her the money yesterday, and she wouldn't let me. Just thinking about that exchange makes me cringe. I. do. not. like. owing. money. To anyone. Especially people who are exponentially 'better' than me, people who have no real reason to want me around and to whom I feel a need to provide a reason to like me (this would be contrasted with normal situations where people will like you until you give them a reason NOT to). Don't get me wrong, Amanda has given me no reason to think that she is seeing me this way, this is my own issue to get around. Regardless, I now owe her money, and it makes me feel bad. I always worry in these situations that the 'giver' will think I forgot my money maliciously, which makes me look like I think I am 'worth' someone spending money on me (especially people higher than me on the social scale) or that I am 'owed' it somehow. Blech on that.

Anyway, I am feeling pretty worthless for this and other reasons. There has been a very unproductive round of emails between me and a potential date that has contributed to my feelings. Beyond this is the fear that has been creeping in about death and the fact that everyone I know dying. Sometimes I take a disastrous mental turn, experimenting how I would react if something horrible or wonderful happened. During a recent funeral, I decided to see how I would feel if my best friend in the whole world died. This was NOT a fun mental game. It left me with residual feelings of fear and loneliness. A recipe for happiness if I ever heard one.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Weekend in Bullet points

It was a long weekend, but try to keep up.

  • Attempted 3 miles. Failed.
  • "Worked" all day Saturday, somehow avoided tornadoes
  • Drinking Saturday night: found out I rock at the card game '99' and earned 3 blisters on the top of my feet.
  • Attended church absolutely soaking wet after walking 2 blocks in a torrential downpour.
  • Learned two new songs for a funeral.
  • Drove to New Glarus, got lost on the way.
  • Picked up beautiful bridesmaid dress.
  • Sampled beer at the brewery.
  • Cried, sang, cried, sang, cried, ate at funeral.
  • Was rained on, again.
  • Saw Sex And The City in dress from said funeral, as there was no time to change.
  • Rained on, one last, final time.
phew. This week, elementary school lets out! That means... LAST WEEK OF FULL TIME EMPLOYMENT! Woo free time and no money. Bring out the wii. You're invited (bring food).

The 'second sleep'

It astounds me that I could wake up at 7am after drinking heavily until 1, when I am so hung over that I can't roll over without being nauseas, but after getting up, drinking like half a cup of water, going to the bathroom and going back to bed for about half an hour I feel like a new person. What happens in that short second bout of sleep that heals my broken body?

Friday, June 6, 2008


ok, so I just realized how much of a pain in the ass it was to comment on my blog, so I loosened the restrictions! I can finally stop feeling unloved. Prove to me you are here, loyal readers! Comments OPEN!

Thursday, June 5, 2008


Today I am happy and thankful to have healthy lungs. Ran another 2 miles tonight!

Standing Room only

Apparently I can only stay online at work (yes, the wireless internet I am constantly stealing from the vet next door) while I am standing. If I set a stool down and relax, BAM! No internet. Fine. I will be fit as well as more connected to the world. Its kind of a win-win.

On Tuesday night I had a meeting at church about starting a second service. I love being in this group. Its only 6 people, and that includes P.A. (that's what I am going to abbreviate Pastor Amanda as now) and Deacon (no more names, but for the last time, her name is Tina, in case I slip up and use 'real' names and not titles or blog names). I feel important and valued and I can have an impact on things. I don't think I have had this kind of influence in anything since probably junior year in high school when I was a leader in show choir. Of course, looking back on that time, I remind myself of Dwight from the office. Assistant manager? No, assistant TO the regional manager. I won't let that happen again, don't worry.

Anyway, back to the meeting. We got things accomplished, I didn't present myself as a donkey nearly as much as I could have, honing my filtering skills. Afterwards, I was so hungry, it was after 9pm and I hadn't had dinner. After expressing my incredible need for food, PA suggested we go out. I was all...yes, please. So we all went to the Greenbush Bar, had a few drinks, pizza and calamari. PA had one glass of wine. One. But she is such a lightweight that she wanted someone else to drive on the way back. Because I live one single block from her, I volunteered. I was my pastors DD. What a surreal thing. Anyway, it was a great night.

At the bar,

Side note, I have decided against using titles. First names is even more anonymous.

At the bar, Tina and Erin talked about a newish website called Pandora. Basically it's a streaming music site, where you determine the kinds of music that will be played. You enter in names of artists that you like, and it knows the elements of that music and will play other music with those kinds of elements in them. For instance, I entered 'Death Cab for Cutie', 'Rilo Kiley', and 'Fiest' and they gave me those artists, somewhat plus a ton of unheardofbyme artists. Like: Kim Taylor, the mysteries of life, The Eames Era, and Mansun. You can also share your 'stations' with friends and mix stations and it's just awesome. They find the main features of each song or artist and if you like it, they find other songs with the same features. For example, here is the main features of "This Seat is Taken" by The Mysteries of Life:

mellow rock instrumentation
folk influences
a subtle use of vocal harmony
acoustic sonority
extensive vamping
major key tonality
acoustic rhythm guitars

It's cool. Check it out here.


Is it too predictable and over-said to say that I actually want to become a better person? Or is it so commonplace that stating it as a new goal is surprising? I don't know everyone's inner thoughts, struggles or goals, so I don't know. But I am actually working on becoming a better person, actively. What is a better person, though? While I hesitate to say that some people are better than others, I know that there are ways that I can make myself better in my own eyes. I want to like myself more, and I know there is nothing wrong with that. Some people will say that I shouldn't try to change myself to like myself more, I should work on accepting myself the way I am, but I don't really see that as the more attractive option.

While I am ALL for scavenger hunts and fun games on a daily basis, I would like to add an element of seriousness to my blog. I will try to add something that I am thankful for or grateful for after each blog post. I think remembering that we have so much good in our lives helps balance the complaints we have for the day, and I usually have a ton of those. I realize this might get tiring if I only come on to blog about that, so I will probably just add it to blog posts that I have another reason for writing. So, to start:

I am thankful that I have people who love me, be they near or far.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Well, I suck at NaBloPoMo

I forgot to post on the second day. so much for that! Last night I went SHOPPING. I really shouldn't do that. Ever. But I did. I wanted to get my dad a father's day/birthday gift because he will be in Iraq over fathers day and we won't get to do paddle and portage (which was a lame excuse for a gift anyway). I got him a Sansa mp3 player and loaded it with songs last night. That kind of sucked because all of my songs on iTunes didn't work on it (obviously) because Steve Jobs is a greedy bastard. I had to upload like 15 cds on my computer and figure the player out. But, I think my dad will be happy, and that's what counts.

I bought black shoes for a wedding and a funeral, I think they will work for both. Buying $70 shoes for two specific events is like buying two pairs at $35, right? Anyway, yes, I will be attending another funeral on Sunday, for a man from my church. He loved the choir, was in it for many years, so his wife requested we sing. I needed shoes. I wish I would have had them for my grandpa's funeral last week though, then they would have only seemed like $18 a wearing. Anyway, with no further ado, here are the shoes:Please disregard that little piece of tissue on the seat in front of the shoe. That was from the buckle, and I was in a hurry last night, uploading, syncing, uploading, syncing.

I also bought a dress, because I have like no dressy clothes...and it seems like funerals are becoming popular, so I needed something to wear. So. The dress:If you want to know how it is supposed to look, click here. Back to work!

Sunday, June 1, 2008


Since I agreed to write posts about 'Home', I am posting a picture of my current home. It's pretty spectacular. The picture tells the whole story.This was what my house looked like 5 months ago: Gross, huh?

Anyway, I had a most excellent day! Church was generally wonderful, I sang seven different songs. It was a musically charged service today and then I was asked to sing with two other people at a service on Father's Day so we rehearsed that too. My roommate surprised me there too! Then there was a great fellowship afterward with chocolate fondue and brownies, punch with sorbet in it... mmmmmm And cheese balls (not the cheeto like things). Get this.... I asked out guyIlikefromchurch! We exchanged numbers. :) Go me. Oh, he is the pics from the speech proof. And he is not disabled.

After church, female roommate and I went for a walk in the arb. When I got back I fell asleep on the couch watching the Brewers kick the pants off of Houston. Then Dad showed up and we went canoing out to picnic point and back. I did NOT have a panic attack like last time! Woo hoo! I wasn't even nervous. Then dad and I walked down state st to Tutto Pasta... (yummy) and shared some cold stone on the way back (cake batter with brownies and strawberries).

It was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL day, weather wise. I don't think it could have been more perfect. 80 degrees, partly cloudy, no humidity, no bugs. If I could live everyday like today, I would without hesitation.

June Blogging

The email from NaBloPoMo was this:

The theme for June blogging is home. Whatever home means to you! A place where you keep all your stuff, the place you came from, a place you dream of creating, or something you hold in your heart.

If you'd like to participate in blogging every day for the month of June and would like to be listed on the blogroll, go to, click on Blogrolls, click on the June Blogroll, and follow the instructions. Please join us!

ounds like a good deal to me, anybody else interested?