It isn't odd that I don't know what is going on. Disclosing the kind of information that I am missing isn't polite, or normal, or probably even expected. I don't know. I have been in three other weddings, but they were all for family members, and I was probably 16 when I was in the latest one. My parents paid for everything, a gift wasn't expected, I didn't attend showers, I just showed up and did what I was told to do, basically. So this is basically a whole new ball of wax.
I would ask you, my readers, what your opinion is on bridal party etiquette, but probably 75% of you are in the same wedding I am in, so it doesn't make sense. If there's anyone out there with more experience, let me know!
- Do the people in the wedding party give gifts to the couple individually or together?
- Some respondents to this question have said that the party doesn't give gifts because of the expense incurred involving the ceremony, i.e. travel, dress/rental, shoes, time loss at work, etc.
- The party that I am a part of decided that we WANT to give gifts, and because we are all over the country, that we will give them individually.
- When there is a bridal shower, do you buy two gifts? One for the shower and one for the wedding?
- Even if the custom calls for two gifts, it isn't possible for me to adhere to that, so I purchased one gift, but I don't know when to give it!
- If you are not told how much something will cost, but it is something absolutely required, does that mean that you are still paying for it?
- The most major cost is in the bridesmaid dress, so usually it is pretty obvious who will be responsible for paying for it (only the rarest and richest of couples are able to provide dresses). There are many other costs that come up, though. I am 99% sure that the rehearsal dinner is paid for, but what about housing accommodations or hair styling (for the ladies)?
- What is the maid of honor's role?
- One thing I know from this experience is that the m.o.h is the one who plans the bachelorette party. I am thinking that if it is a self contained, more formal event, with guests, invitations, a rented venue, etc, the m.o.h. probably pays for some of it herself.
- I am guessing that the Best Man's role is pretty much the same as the M.O.H. But I am not a guy, and I have never stood behind the groom, so I can't be so sure.
I know this is all very tacky and taboo for me to be writing about. But I know that I can't be the only one with these questions, cause nobody I have asked has been able to give me a straight answer. Also, I am a poor, post-college single woman. This is my excuse for why many of my concerns center around money. I also understand that many of the answers to these questions change with the conditions surrounding each specific wedding. The age, social situation, cultural background, stage in life and possible previous weddings all effect those answers.
Beyond all of my questions and confusions, I am totally pumped to stand up and say that, 'Yes, I approve of this relationship, and I am proud to witness this beautiful ceremony of love commitment between two people whom I care about.' I am also pretty freaking excited to attend the associated parties with my BEST friends and celebrate like I've never done before. That's all, ya'll