Saturday, April 21, 2007


I don't think I have told anyone this, cause it's pretty 'off the wall', so to speak.
You know those screws that can only be turned to the right? You can only tighten them. The ones that can only be found in bathroom stalls... They depress me so much. Every time I see them, it makes me sad. I can't stand the fact that you can't undo them, that they are there forever. It might be because I am uncomfortable with the idea of not being able to take anything back, or undo something that I have done. Don't worry, I haven't done anything wrong, or actively wrong I guess. Maybe I just am worried that when the bathroom needs to be remodeled, I don't know what they are going to do to get the stalls apart. Either way, it sucks. And, even though I know that they do this to me, I actively look for them every time I go into a bathroom stall. Continuing the metaphor from before, kind of, Does this mean that I really try to find the things that make me feel bad?

Tonight I am feeling exactly the way that I did at the film festival on Wednesday, but I am not watching an amazing film, I am watching my life, and I am still completely entranced by everything I see. Like I am hypnotized or something. What does this all mean? Ugh. I hate not knowing.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


The Banff film festival was absolutely amazing tonight. Basically it's a winning collection of short to short-ish films about 'mountain culture'. I saw people solo rock climbing on islands in Tahiti, bikers flying down mountains, and a 5,000+ mile bike trip over mountians, desert and urban areas in Asia.

There was one film, about 10 min long that I literally felt like I didn't want to blink, and I was frozen. There was no narration, just absolutely amazingly beautiful views and alternative angles of looking at mountains and all that coexist with them. Brilliantly beautiful music filled the whole movie. I loved it personally.

There was also one about these hooded (somethings) ducks hatching in Northern Minnesota... at 20 hours old they have to jump out of their nest! They dive from 20 feet in the air and into the water. Let me tell you now. Cute has hell. Seriously. But I do love ducks. I might be biased.

Anyway, I should get stuff done, but NO. I want to sleep instead, sucker. Hope everyone else had as good of a night as I did!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Sleep: my drug of choice

Because of reasons unknown, my favorite thing to do lately is sleep. It might be because of stress, the drugs I am taking or a change in my general sleeping habits. Regardless, I am sleeping much more than I used to. And by used to I mean like a month ago. All I want to do right now is go to bed. This makes things hard because I can't get anything done during the day because I am so busy, but I can't get anything done at night because I just want to sleep. So basically, I can't get anything done. I am sure that it doesn't help that I am busy practically every minute that I am awake. But anyway, enough of this crap. On to something new.

Last night I got cold feet about next year. I was having such an awkward, annoying day that I was truly afraid that I really might make my friends hate me. I was dumb yesterday. Awkward is the perfect word for it, but I already used it once. I might be becoming more self conscious now. Not good, not good at all. Whatever. Ugh. Do most people get seriously annoyed with themselves and their own quirks? Cause I do. And I feel like apologizing to everyone around me. If I am annoyed, I figure they must be too. This makes me want to isolate myself so that I can spare the world of my ridiculousness.

I know that this goes back on my word from post one. I was going to be upbeat only, but this just isn't really possible right now. Sorry guys.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Easter week

This week has blown by! I thought it would drag out and be awful, but really, it has been quite good. One more day of busy work before it's all over. Today wasn't wonderful, I made the boss mad and I felt ill most of the time. This too shall pass. I have successfully drugged Andrea and Nathan's cat 3 times now. I am quite proud of myself, he he. Once more and I am home free. But to think, I used to be very afraid of cats, now I am forcing pills down their throats...

I have been sleeping more than usual, and I haven't gotten much homework done. That might be why I have enjoyed my break, but who really cares? It's spring break! Some people do NO homework this whole week, so I am ahead of them at least.

I have been convinced to go home tomorrow night. I didn't want to, but my mom talked me into it. It sounds like they want to see me. Geez. Happy Easter, everybody.