I don't think I have told anyone this, cause it's pretty 'off the wall', so to speak.
You know those screws that can only be turned to the right? You can only tighten them. The ones that can only be found in bathroom stalls... They depress me so much. Every time I see them, it makes me sad. I can't stand the fact that you can't undo them, that they are there forever. It might be because I am uncomfortable with the idea of not being able to take anything back, or undo something that I have done. Don't worry, I haven't done anything wrong, or actively wrong I guess. Maybe I just am worried that when the bathroom needs to be remodeled, I don't know what they are going to do to get the stalls apart. Either way, it sucks. And, even though I know that they do this to me, I actively look for them every time I go into a bathroom stall. Continuing the metaphor from before, kind of, Does this mean that I really try to find the things that make me feel bad?
Tonight I am feeling exactly the way that I did at the film festival on Wednesday, but I am not watching an amazing film, I am watching my life, and I am still completely entranced by everything I see. Like I am hypnotized or something. What does this all mean? Ugh. I hate not knowing.