I did it again.

oops.  So I drove home noticably drunk.  yeah, that's spelled wrong.  I dont know how to spell it right now.  At least I wasn't driving a bus or a  plane.  and yes. I know.  No one drives a plane.  The FLy it.  geez  I am not that gone.  I was driving my moped.  Its fo MO Peds.  More pedestrians.  Thats totally where the name comes from.  At least that's what I think it should come from. I am not sure.

Tonight was concert on the square.  Last one.  pics?  PICTURES?  you want them....?  ok... here they are! Wait.  where's my camera.  Brb. shit.  i forgot.  Holy man.  I took a TON.

I may or may noy be eating cream cheese by itself.  its a secret.  And the pictures are messed up.  go to my picasa to look at them.

Your magnetic force is just too weak for me

It seems as though I will not have to move back to the dreaded homeland just yet. Instead I will be living with a random woman and her dog, in the glorious Madison Metropolitan Area.

I must stand strong against the evil forces of 'moving home'..... Follow me on my quest.

My peeps miss me

Apparently I cannot go on an unexpected hiatus without catching some flack for not blogging. I formally apologize for neglecting you, internet and internet friends. I still love you, but my life has recently been hijacked by subjunctive clauses, mingles, lesson planning and damned reading. Oh yeah, and teaching.

School is going pretty well. My relationships with my classmates hasn't progressed much since I last wrote about them, but nothing too strange has happened. Well, except for the one time when I had a briefcase thrown at my head by a guy I will refer to from here on out as Crass & lacking all social skills, or CLASS. He's a class act.

This last weekend rocked my socks off. Friday night I went out with Kelsey for her birthday. We ate at a Greek place on State and then proceeded toward the capital to see what we could see. I mean, drink. I felt more free and uninhibited than I had in... maybe ever, when talking to strangers. I didn't stutter, I didn't feel embarrassed, I didn't over think things. I also didn't get too drunk to drive my moped home. How do I know I wasn't too drunk to drive my moped home? Cause no one died as a result of my riding my moped home on Friday night, that's how. Saturday Dad came into town and we went to the farmer's market and shopping. Around 4 Erin called me and asked if I wanted to join her and her friends at a Mallard's game. Never before has one impromptu phone call made me feel so loved. I mean, I was replacing someone, but I was still called! Someone wants to hang out with me! The game was really fun. It was Erin's birthday (and my bestest friend in the whole wide world's birthday too! Love you friend! Um, your card is still not in the mail. Because I suck at life and those stupid lesson plans have jailed me) and she brought a handful of friends and Tina and her brother met us at the game. I think we had the best time, Tina and I. We get along pretty well... especially after 3 beers. Yeah, for the first time in like 3 years I drank while I was still hung over. Not since Mardi Gras in St. Louis have I done that! But it worked out just fine.... Except for the part where I peed in a bush later in the night, in downtown Madison. Yeah. I did.

I also have been wanting to post about a really really random dream I had not too long ago. I was at a urine donation center, you know, donating my urine. That much is obvious by the fact that I was carrying around a gallon sized ziplock bag full of my own pee. It was heavy, and I was actually worried about the bag breaking or dropping it. I mean, that would be gross. Anyway, I wanted to get a breath of fresh air so I meander outside. It's raining and there are people smoking out there. Then this 40 something, unattractive man (who is also there to do some donating, I am guessing) comes up to me and tries to pick me up with some line, WHILE I AM STILL HOLDING A GALLON OF MY OWN PEE. Even in my dream I can recognize that this is ridiculous. I spent the rest of the dream avoiding that guy.

That's about all of the updating that you are going to get right now. OH WAIT! I have a very promising lead on securing a post-school housing arrangement! I will have more info tomorrow evening. You will (probably) be kept abreast.

Word

You can tell that I am doing a lot of work because, I am just so fucking sick of opening Microsoft Word. Those 5 seconds of waiting just piss me off.

Chicago pics

See my picasa web albums for pics from chicago. Some of them I am pretty proud of. :)

When furniture attacks

It's 4pm, class got over an hour ago. I don't want to go home, because its like 85 degrees and just disgusting in my house. Here at school it's air conditioned but my work is frustrating me. I am hungry but it's too early for dinner. I don't have any available friends to distract me. It's a bad place to be in.

All of what I am feeling is such a contrast to what I was feeling over the weekend. Chicago was really great. My anxiety was low or non existent the whole time, I actually felt glee for a while. Most of the time, I felt competent, relaxed, and confident. Right now, I feel like I don't know what I am doing, that I am incapable of teaching and coming up with ideas to do every single day. I am worried that my classmates actually don't like me - that last week was just completely different. If you can't tell, I also am having great difficulty expressing myself. Maybe blogging isn't the best thing for me right now, considering. At least it provides a reason for me to sit here and waste time in the cool air.

I hope this is hormonal and that it ends soon.

Last night something crazy happened. Really crazy. 1:45am. I hear a loud BANG! It only half wakes me up, but then there was a second sound. I rolled over, and turned on my lamp. When I look toward where I thought I heard the sound, I see my dresser has fallen forward onto my floor. I got up, walked over to my dresser, it's drawers all half pulled out and holding up the main body. I almost couldn't comprehend what I was looking at, so I just stood over the mess, looking down on it. After a minute, I realized I should set my dresser back up, because the way it was laying was putting stress on the slats between the drawers. I manage to push the big part of it back up so that it is standing. It's back legs were then resting on something, so I have pull that stuff out to get it to stay standing. The books that were on the floor were under the dresser before, I put them there to even out the incredibly crooked floor, but now they were making it so that the dresser wanted to fall forward again. After I got it to stand up and be pretty steady, I surveyed the damage. Two of the lower slats are broken, so the drawers won't go back in where they belong, so I tried to stack them on the floor. This is when you can tell that I had just woken up because everyone knows that dresser drawers don't stack, they just can't with the way they are shaped. So I semi stacked them, went to the bathroom and went back to bed, slightly freaked out that my dresser would fall over by itself, while I am sleeping.

Maybe I am in a bad mood because I didn't get much sleep last night and started my day frustrated. Maybe this is residual frustration. I shouldn't focus on it, I guess. I will try to post pictures of the trip soon. I have some good ones.

Class Act

I want my readers to know that those rumors that they have been hearing are... COMPLETELY TRUE. I am back in school! I have 'gone back' to school.

I am in the Midwest Teacher Training Program (MTTP) at the Wisconsin English as a Second Language Institute (WESLI). It's right across the street from the capital, in a beautiful old building. It's one of those three storied, skinny hallwayed, exposed brick buildings where you have to take three different stairwells and five corners just to get to your classroom. It's somewhat maze-like. The 12 students share an office in the basement (we each get our own desk space), near the lounge and computer lab.

I have 4 major classes.

• Skills 1 - How to teach oral communication and listening skills
• Skills 2 - How to teach reading and writing skills
• Lesson Planning - How to write effective lesson plans
• Grammar- yeah. Past perfect progressive, gerunds, auxiliaries and the like

I also get the experience of actually TEACHING ten 50 minute classes spread throughout the 5 weeks. Because MTTP is part of WESLI, we have foreigners who travel here to learn English, and we get to use them as guinea pigs! All of the MTTP students are paired up and assigned a class that meets for 2 hours, twice a week. We each teach for 50 minutes and observe while our partner is teaching. For each time teaching we have to make up a complete lesson plan, teach, observe, write up an observation on your partner, and work with your partner on a reflection of the implementation of the lesson plan. It's a SHIT TON of work. For real. But I think I can do it.

In addition to all of that, we have two or three 50 minute observations a week for various classes above, which we then write journal reflections on. Generally there is homework for all of the main classes for every meeting too. Each class meets twice a week, for two hours at a time.

Pfew. I just got a handle on that all yesterday. It's a little overwhelming, but I am really enjoying the challenge. There are only 12 or 13 students at MTTP, so we all have the same classes and I have really enjoyed getting to know them. We are a pretty diverse group in terms of backgrounds and goals. I think I have already made some friends.

Hi MTTP-ers! One fun chick asked if I had a blog today and I told her she could find it via Facebook... I will call her Frenchglasses. FG for short. She studied french for some time and has cool glasses. So FG, Maniguy (Manitowoc Guy), Guy (his real name!), and LAO (I am not explaining this, just accept it!) skipped next door after class today to The Old Fashioned. Four in the afternoon, and we were going drinking. We didn't have much choice, because The Old Fashioned was celebrating selling its 100,000th Old Fashioned! So on special?! $1.50 Old Fashioneds!!! That is not something you pass on. We had a good time tonight. I hope we become better friends. YAY friends! Oh, I have pictures!

Here is Maniguy and FG, working on homework at the bar!

A picture of my homework for Lesson Planning that's due tomorrow. I had to get it done sometime, I might as well drink a brandy old fashioned sweet while I work!

Maniguy, FG and I after a couple! We look happy, right? I hope we can keep it up!

undeniable

So... I chose to sober up, and do my homework now. I may never sleep tonight. There is so much homework! Why?! I will tell you why! Cause after this, I am going to be one mad ass teacher, that's why! Look out world.

eeek!

So... Somehow I got drunk on the capital lawn. And now, I am not sure if I can complete my homework coherently. Eee gads! Do I try to sober up now, or get up early tomorrow?

Nermal Races

Garfield always sent Nermal to Abu Dhabi. I have only been trying to think of that for weeks. Glad it's out there in a place where I know I can find it again when I need to. I know I will need to, it's just a matter of time.

So. Yeah. Been busy over here at the FrenchRangoon headquarters. So busy that it was starting to feel overwhelming to think about updating you all. I mean, I know you know what I have been up to, so why update? I guess you might want to know how I feel about it all, with feelings and stuff.

I wrote about how I was having stress dreams, right? Well, I thought maybe I would have one sleepless night and then I would be so tired from that night (this would be Saturday night) that sleeping would be a piece of cake the next day. No such luck for this girl. I was having those crazy stupid kinds of dreams that I have when I am super stressed out from work. I mean, I obviously wasn't dreaming about idiots waking me up from my sleep on the floor behind the counter at a chocolate shop, wanting to buy truffles at 3am. But I was half waking up, over and over, thinking that 'TODAYS THE RACE' and I must get up now, so that I am not late! Or, everyone is here, why are you not racing?! I don't think the situation was helped much by the fact that I am completely, 100%, scarily obsessed with reading dooce from the beginning. That is a totally different topic, but let's just say that everything I was doing was being narrated in the voice (and comedy) of Heather Armstrong. That's entertaining and all, but it doesn't help when you are half awake and your situation is being read to you in a strangers voice in the form of a blog post. A funny blog post, sure, but still. I just wanted to sleep.

So getting up for my race was not the prettiest thing. I just didn't feel like it. And then I get there, and I find out that not everyone that I expected to come actually showed up... (and let's just say that the person who didn't show up was supposed to be someone else's ride, and that person who was supposed to be driving was the one person I was most excited to have there, and that person didn't even call me to tell me they weren't coming, and still hasn't expressed that they feel bad about it or anything. Yes, he/she had a good excuse, a great excuse really, but... you could still be sorry. Maybe you aren't. Fine then.) Okay, I feel a little better after that rant. Anyway, my friend Mike biked TEN miles to come and see me run a measly 5k. And not very well, either, mind you.

There, I said it, I pretty much sucked it up on the whole race thing. I didn't even care that much. Maybe if I would have had someone to run with me, that would have been more motivation, but I just.. I just didn't care very much. And it was windy and there was ZERO shade on the whole route. So I came in like 180th place. Haha. That sounds so ROCKIN'! Whatever. When I rounded the final corner, and started running up the 'Quaker Steak and Lube' driveway, there was a woman about 10 or 15 feet in front of me. Something clicked inside of me, the little competitive demon was awakened and I decided that I must catch that chick and beat her to the line. And, that's what I did. She didn't respond to me being directly behind her, but then the crowd started to indicate that I was making a move, so she sped up. And I totally sped up too, and kicked her ass. I am so glad that I had the energy at the end to go over the line running full out. It kind of makes up for the times when I walked because I just didn't care enough. lol. And yes, if I ever get pictures from my mom and aunt, I will post them.

And then school started, and I am way too tired to post about that right now. So you will have to wait, again.

Declaration

I love nutella on pancakes.

And I know what you are thinking and thats just too freaking bad.

All I really want

After making a big pot of spaghetti with yummy sauce, and a side of garlic bread, I realized that all I really wanted was the garlic bread. And that's what I'll eat. It's full of yummy carbs. I guess that's what I need.

James J. Chocolate Shop

Today is my very last day at James J. Chocolate shop. I have worked here since late February of 2006, which puts me at almost 30 months, 2.5 years. I only have 6 hours left. It's strange. But I even put on the smock to make it more official. I usually only wear this thing if we are going to be so busy that I don't have time to throw my plastic gloves away in the trash can, cause the smock has pockets! But I am working more than usual today, just to get it all out of my system. You know, all that tray filling and...tray filling. Yeah, thats about all there is to do today, maybe I will find something to bag. We'll see. And now, a little James J. slideshow. (or series of pictures that you have to scroll down to see - I am not talented enough to actually embed a slideshow.








Summer, Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter, the four seasons at James J.

200 posts!

Well, actually its 201.... but that makes it that much more awesome!

Loving the song 'Love Astronaut' by Murder Mystery.

only 12 more hours of work!!!

Surprise!

I really like broccoli. Yummy. We got like 3lbs of it today from the CSA we are a part of. It's called Vermont Valley. Anyway. I just ate a whole head of it. Good thing nobody's sleepin with ME tonight.

What I really want is KFC's sauceless hot wings. I love chicken, I love spicy, I hate ooey gooey sauce. Sounds perfect really, except for that whole 'hugely unhealthy for me' bit. And I refuse to give in until after my race.

Speaking of my race, I had a stress dream about it last night. I was with all my friends from HS and we were on the way to the race (they all came to watch me!), but I felt extremely unprepared because I had missed the walk of the route on Saturday and I didn't really know where we were going. We may have also been running late, because that's what we do when we are together. Anyway, as much as I try to say that I am not nervous for it... I guess I am. At least subconsciously.

I bought a new set of pjs for next weekend! They are pink and cute. So there. And if you think this is frivolous, you are right. But! I will be sharing a hotel room with at least 4 other people, one of whom I recently went on a semi-date with, and two of whom are ordained in the methodist church. The last one I would like to be friends with, so.... the heat is on! Must look good whilst sleeping. That is impossible for me. Also, more recently, evidenced here:










Betcha didn't see that coming did ya? I am not holding a monkey in this picture, no siree. But... we won't talk about what I am technically 'holding' - thanks to my friends. And more thanks to the crop function, nobody has to know. :)

Wishing

I really wish I knew how to design my own website. I would totally pay for a domain name if I just knew how to make it unique. I need more geeky friends.

Also, Static - if you get Mario Kart... it's on! Haute and I will kick your newly married ass! (if we can figure out how do make the dang thing work. Once again.... where are you geeky friends?!)

Questions

Soon, I will never have to ask either of these questions ever again:

• Milk or Dark? (times 18 per customer. Why don't they realize I am going to ask them this, again? Just tell me which you want in your initial description, goodness. a DARK vanilla caramel!)
  
• Would you like a ribbon on this box?

This alone makes me want to jump for joy that I only have two and a half days of work left!

Time may change meeee......

I have been doing a lot of knitting lately, mostly for my sister - I am making a baby blanket to take down with me when I visit her family in August. Four consecutive hours of knitting means only one thing, I had four consecutive hours to think and think and think yesterday. I can't do much else while I knit, it takes a lot of skill to be able to look up from your work and concentrate on something like the TV. If you know me well, you may know that giving me that much time to think can be either a really good thing - a time for me to really work the kinks out of my logic, pep myself up from something that has been bothering me, or find a solution to a problem in my life - or a really bad thing - I have a tendency sometimes to let my mind wander cyclically into more and more depressing thoughts. I can take 'what if' thought experiments to a whole new level of anxiety inducing sickness when given such an abundance of time.

This session was more positive than negative, probably. I am working through why I am so anxious about the impending months and some answers have bubbled to the surface.

Change is scary when its not completely thought out, planned incessantly and run by every friend, coworker and random passerby on the street. If it can be controlled, I am ok. The more I know about what the change will bring, the better. Does this make me a control freak? It's certainly a possibility. I like to control the major aspects of my life, thank you. Where we go to lunch, which movie we watch, even which side of the bed I sleep on - I don't care, make a choice. Where I live, what I do, what on Earth my life will even remotely resemble? Give me a calendar, the internet, a credit card, and a phone, please. I will make it happen the way I want.

This, of course, is not how my immediate future is playing out. I am moving (where? Somewhere on planet Earth, that narrows it down) and teaching (I don't know how to teach!) and leaving every living sole I know. Maybe its a good thing I am freaking out. Self preservation, you know. I am ready for my class to start so that I can be involved in planning my eventual successes or failures. Six days, my friends.

Mixed up!

AH! I don't know what to think or how to feel. So many things feel like they are spinning me around and making me think and changing my emotions.

Wedding: Beautiful, awesome, fun time. Cried more in public than I ever have, probably. Exhausted me physically and emotionally for a while, but I think I am back.

Post Wedding: Visited my Aunt Karen in the Appleton area. That was fun, but.... I was hung over and exhausted, like I said above. It was still good to see her.

Working: I couldn't care less about my job right now. I forget I have one even. At work, I knit (I am knitting a baby blanket for my big sister!), do 'homework' (wait for it), read, and hang out online. I don't even really care if I get caught right now. I would get three extra days off and lose a recommendation, boo hoo.

Home: I was home from Wednesday night through this morning. Saw mom's house progressing, got eaten alive by mosquitoes (I spelled that right on the first try!), saw two sets of fireworks without having too much anxiety and played some games with the family. I LOVE games. Fyi.

Church: sigh. Just got back from an 'outing'. We (the 2nd service group) visited Blackhawk church here in Madison. I was seriously unimpressed. I mean, it was an impressive place, but everything I like about my church was missing in this one. It was like we were in an auditorium. It was hokey. I dunno. It just made me queasy. Afterwards we went to Pasqual's on Monroe. Shared a margarita with Amanda and.... well, she would have been cut off if we were to continue, I believe. But, to her credit, they were strong margaritas. And then I rode 1.5 blocks home with her. Cause I could. In that amount of time, we talked about my leaving (ack!) and about going out with Greg. She said that she would push me to try a little harder if I weren't leaving. Do you people see how good this place and these people are for me? This is what I need, someone who cares enough to push me to do things that scare me. Example: first roller coaster ride - I needed to be forced to get on, then I cried all the way to the top, but realized that I loved it by the time it was over.

Why did I find this little niche of Madison with only 8 months before I left? Why couldn't I have found it, oh, I dunno, FOUR YEARS AGO?! Dang that's frustrating.

New topic. I have tomorrow off and nothing to do. What to do, what to do? I will probably knit knit knit, and think think think. Recipe for disaster? we will see.

Did you know?

There is no ingredient list on cottage cheese. I like it.

A Big Purple One

When Cranium takes a turn down sexual street.

I did it!

I figured out how to post an edited video on YouTube. Enjoy 'Two Girls, One Bouquet'

Happy July, plus pictures

It's July. When did that happen? I mean, obviously about 18 hours ago, but really.... this summer is flying by. I am so not ready for the summer to be half over. Nope nope nope. I am also still not ready to blog about this incredible weekend. But I am ready to share the photos with you. That is, if you promise to comment on at least one, because comments are like chocolate, or they would be if I didn't work at a chocolate shop. Maybe... comments are like crab rangoon. yeah..... mmmm.

All of my pictures, including those which you covet so much, Haute.