Saturday, September 6, 2008

Door Company, continued.

I know you all have been waiting for the rest of the Door County story. Wait no more.

I successfully (that word has THREE instances of double consonants?!) slept in a tent, on the ground, in the wide, wide world three nights in a row. Please, hold the applause.

Being out in the woods with zero artificial entertainment, I began to revert to my childhood. By the end of the weekend, I was cracking stupid jokes, leaping around, randomly running because I wanted to... and having laughing fits about absolutely nothing with a good friend. It was like I was 12 again.

It wasn't all fun and giggles though. The first morning was a nightmare. I woke up, and my first thought was, oh, ow. Wow, ow. My back hurt and my uterus was showing signs of revolt in the near future. This condition worsened considerably throughout the morning, despite arming myself with one Midol. My uterus laughs in the face of one Midol. I did alright when I had to walk to where we are served food, at the other end of the trail. But by the time breakfast was over, I was lying on the ground on my stomach, unable to move or breathe. When Jack poked my leg with a stick I swear I nearly bit his neck and swallowed his adam's apple whole. A stern, don't fuck with me voice I said, "No. That is NOT OK.", if I remember correctly. Nikita and I had to walk back to the tents to do something. Maybe change clothes and get things we needed for the day, I can't even remember. Note that this walk back is at least half a mile. Half a mile in total agony. I know that Nikita was uncomfortable walking with me, I was visibly shaking while walking like half a mile an hour, and threatening to puke every ten steps. But she was a saint, only mentioning one time that she was glad that I wasn't going to be sea kayaking with her today. Back at the tents, I took two Advil Liquidgels (Sidenote: I love Advil Liquidgels. I love them so much, I commonly refer to them as miracle pills) and I used the 'restroom'. Standing in a small, reeking, spider filled outhouse, I decided that this was probably the worst possible thing that could happen to me. I couldn't hardly stand, I was surrounded by my worst fear, and I couldn't breathe without wanting to vomit from the smell. Then, I was angry. I mean, it was totally unnecessary that I feel that way. And these spiders? Why do they want to be in the outhouse? I hate them with the power of 10,000 burning suns (or what was that declaration of hatred, Haute?) Anyway, I survived the trek BACK to the eating area/parking lot area. While waiting for the miracle pills to take effect, writhing on the ground a while longer helped somewhat. Eventually my lower torso was numbed, and I was free to be a human again.

While I was in agony - and really throughout the weekend - I kept thinking about my old Hoofer friends and how much I missed them and wanted them to be on this trip. Andrea and Patsy, this trip would have been even more awesome had you been there. I knew Patsy would have something to tell me to make me feel better, or, she would have at least prevented Jack from poking me, that asshole. Plus, we used to really have fun together, and I could really see you guys on this trip. I was probably hallucinating, but if you would have just popped up around a corner, I wouldn't have been surprised in the least. The feeling was very strong and came quite early in the trip, so many of my memories of the weekend are a little clouded by the memory of a year ago, when we were together and my life was better because of it.

Ok, so. That was the 'bad' part of the weekend for me. The first afternoon (when I rose from the dead) was spent in Sister Bay, at a coffee shop. I had a little cup of cream of carrot soup and a San Pellingrino. The SP was NINETY FIVE CENTS. That is so freaking cheap. I even told the clerk. We pay like three times that in Madison. And it is so good. The coffee shop had the internet, hence my abbreviated update that weekend. Then I bought another San Pellingrino. Andrea (different from above Andrea) and I looked through some pottery and antique shops, then relaxed in the dining area at the park. We also went on one awesome hike, where I learned about the existence of thimbleberries and these really cool pods that explode like confetti poppers when you squeeze them.

Day two a group of us biked to Washington Island, biked across Washington Island to School House Beach and then biked back. We took the ferry obviously. I haven't honed my telekinetic powers to be able to bike on water... yet. It was fun, but when we got back, my ass bone was so sore, I couldn't hardly sit on it. Dinner was ready when we arrived, and I am not sure I have ever eaten a brat and drunk a beer so quickly in my life. I impressed/horrified the whole picnic table with three enormous belches in my 5 minutes of consumption. That made room for another brat! Bring it! I then learned how to play Kubb (pronounced 'Coob'). It's totally confusing and awesome at the same time. Then I drank three mini Mt. Dews in about 30 min and I got extremely hyper. This was about the time that Nikita and I decided it would be AWESOME if we went back to our tent and tried to take a picture for an eventual READ poster. You know the ones I am talking about. Bill Cosby, Oprah, Everymajorcelebrity. We were like middle school girls, laughing and carrying on while getting ready for bed, brushing our teeth and so forth. Do you know how hard it is to take a picture of yourself and a friend reading in the dark in a tent? HARD. We got one crotch shot, a shot up my shirt, three of just me, and so on. We finally got an acceptable picture, and I managed to turn it into a poster - like thing.

Day three we packed up and spent some time at Whitefish Sand Dunes Natural Area. We hiked around. I got to be a nature hike tour guide. The stupid pamphlet had at least two typos. We got to see another side of Lake Michigan. It was like the adventure! side (if that's even possible), with 3 foot waves, a Dangerous! riptide and a rocky shore riddled with sea caves. Around mid afternoon we packed up and rode home, with a shortish stop in Appleton for some yummmmy pizza.

All in all, it was a pretty great trip. I couldn't have asked for much more to round out the end of my Hooferdom. To really picture the above, click on my picasa web albums link on the sidebar.

2 comments:

hautepocket said...

Ah yes. You despise spiders with the hatred of 10,000 burning Satans. And that's a lot.

Patsy said...

You know I would of kicked Jack's butt, killed those spiders and gave you a hug to make it all better. I can't tell you how much I miss hoofers & hoofer fun.