Everything is good, fine, dandy. But I just don't feel great.
I was accepted to the Midwest Teacher Training Program! I will be there from July 14th through August 15th, after which, I have no idea where I will be. That could be where my anxiety is coming from. Now that I know what I will be doing in my very near future, I don't know where I will be after that. And people keep reminding me, asking me where I want to go. I don't know! I won't know until August! Anyway.
Match.com has finally found my credit card. sigh. I already canceled, so I've got 20 days to find the love of my life, goddamnit.
Rewind my life to Sunday morning. I found myself sitting in a choir robe and giving out chocolates in front of the congregation. I actually had a little reflective moment during the service. How in the world did I go from not stepping in a church for almost a year to this in only three months?! I have no idea. But, I do know that belonging to something is really great. (cue Cheers theme song) Knowing that people know you and are counting on you is a big motivation.
As is just being a part of something bigger than yourself. And sure, I guess I mean God and religion, but also just some sort organization. It makes me feel needed and important. But rushing into this whole thing has made me feel kind of phony.
I also feel fat and ugly, but that's beside the point.