Showing posts with label crying.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crying.. Show all posts

Sunday, October 26, 2008

It's tough.

Last night was pretty weird. In my old apartment, with my old roommates, in a totally different place in my life. Half freaking out, half bored out of my mind, tired, but can't sleep.

I got about an hour of sleep last night, and during that short nap, I dreamt that I overslept until 2:30 this afternoon. THAT was not a good feeling.

Church this morning was good, and sad. I've gotten everything I could need or everything that I could be given to make it easier. I just need to GO now. During the 'joys and concerns' time, I was called up to the front of the sanctuary and Amanda gave me a gift that was perfect. A little black rock, symbolizing... things. She was crying and I was trying not to cry and so I couldn't really listen too well. Something about getting food and water from hitting a rock with a staff? And about Paul being the rock and how I am strong like a rock. Basically it's a worry stone from Amanda's office - that explanation would have been enough for me, probably. Something like this rock is exactly what I wanted. Something to keep with me, something physically FROM the church, the added symbolism was just icing. (HEY-A, if you read this, ya wanna send me via email the meaning behind the rock? I would appreciate it.)

After the service I got to say goodbye for real. I have my card... probably should have waited till I left to let her open it, but I am so easily coerced... (where's the 'like a rock' symbolism now?!)

Really, being away from such a supportive and fun environment is going to be a challenge in itself. In the spring, when I was going to Trinity, but I wasn't really involved as heavily as I am now...er...was in the last month or so, I would go to church on Sunday, and by Wednesday I would start counting down to Sunday, whenI would get to go back. It was hard to go a week away, before I even knew many people. I am going to be away about the same amount of time that I have been going to Trinity.

WELL, it's going to be a long week till next 'Sunday'...