- Milk or Dark? (times 18 per customer. Why don't they realize I am going to ask them this, again? Just tell me which you want in your initial description, goodness. a DARK vanilla caramel!)
- Would you like a ribbon on this box?
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Questions
Soon, I will never have to ask either of these questions ever again:
Time may change meeee......
I have been doing a lot of knitting lately, mostly for my sister - I am making a baby blanket to take down with me when I visit her family in August. Four consecutive hours of knitting means only one thing, I had four consecutive hours to think and think and think yesterday. I can't do much else while I knit, it takes a lot of skill to be able to look up from your work and concentrate on something like the TV. If you know me well, you may know that giving me that much time to think can be either a really good thing - a time for me to really work the kinks out of my logic, pep myself up from something that has been bothering me, or find a solution to a problem in my life - or a really bad thing - I have a tendency sometimes to let my mind wander cyclically into more and more depressing thoughts. I can take 'what if' thought experiments to a whole new level of anxiety inducing sickness when given such an abundance of time.
This session was more positive than negative, probably. I am working through why I am so anxious about the impending months and some answers have bubbled to the surface.
Change is scary when its not completely thought out, planned incessantly and run by every friend, coworker and random passerby on the street. If it can be controlled, I am ok. The more I know about what the change will bring, the better. Does this make me a control freak? It's certainly a possibility. I like to control the major aspects of my life, thank you. Where we go to lunch, which movie we watch, even which side of the bed I sleep on - I don't care, make a choice. Where I live, what I do, what on Earth my life will even remotely resemble? Give me a calendar, the internet, a credit card, and a phone, please. I will make it happen the way I want.
This, of course, is not how my immediate future is playing out. I am moving (where? Somewhere on planet Earth, that narrows it down) and teaching (I don't know how to teach!) and leaving every living sole I know. Maybe its a good thing I am freaking out. Self preservation, you know. I am ready for my class to start so that I can be involved in planning my eventual successes or failures. Six days, my friends.
This session was more positive than negative, probably. I am working through why I am so anxious about the impending months and some answers have bubbled to the surface.
Change is scary when its not completely thought out, planned incessantly and run by every friend, coworker and random passerby on the street. If it can be controlled, I am ok. The more I know about what the change will bring, the better. Does this make me a control freak? It's certainly a possibility. I like to control the major aspects of my life, thank you. Where we go to lunch, which movie we watch, even which side of the bed I sleep on - I don't care, make a choice. Where I live, what I do, what on Earth my life will even remotely resemble? Give me a calendar, the internet, a credit card, and a phone, please. I will make it happen the way I want.
This, of course, is not how my immediate future is playing out. I am moving (where? Somewhere on planet Earth, that narrows it down) and teaching (I don't know how to teach!) and leaving every living sole I know. Maybe its a good thing I am freaking out. Self preservation, you know. I am ready for my class to start so that I can be involved in planning my eventual successes or failures. Six days, my friends.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Mixed up!
AH! I don't know what to think or how to feel. So many things feel like they are spinning me around and making me think and changing my emotions.
Wedding: Beautiful, awesome, fun time. Cried more in public than I ever have, probably. Exhausted me physically and emotionally for a while, but I think I am back.
Post Wedding: Visited my Aunt Karen in the Appleton area. That was fun, but.... I was hung over and exhausted, like I said above. It was still good to see her.
Working: I couldn't care less about my job right now. I forget I have one even. At work, I knit (I am knitting a baby blanket for my big sister!), do 'homework' (wait for it), read, and hang out online. I don't even really care if I get caught right now. I would get three extra days off and lose a recommendation, boo hoo.
Home: I was home from Wednesday night through this morning. Saw mom's house progressing, got eaten alive by mosquitoes (I spelled that right on the first try!), saw two sets of fireworks without having too much anxiety and played some games with the family. I LOVE games. Fyi.
Church: sigh. Just got back from an 'outing'. We (the 2nd service group) visited Blackhawk church here in Madison. I was seriously unimpressed. I mean, it was an impressive place, but everything I like about my church was missing in this one. It was like we were in an auditorium. It was hokey. I dunno. It just made me queasy. Afterwards we went to Pasqual's on Monroe. Shared a margarita with Amanda and.... well, she would have been cut off if we were to continue, I believe. But, to her credit, they were strong margaritas. And then I rode 1.5 blocks home with her. Cause I could. In that amount of time, we talked about my leaving (ack!) and about going out with Greg. She said that she would push me to try a little harder if I weren't leaving. Do you people see how good this place and these people are for me? This is what I need, someone who cares enough to push me to do things that scare me. Example: first roller coaster ride - I needed to be forced to get on, then I cried all the way to the top, but realized that I loved it by the time it was over.
Why did I find this little niche of Madison with only 8 months before I left? Why couldn't I have found it, oh, I dunno, FOUR YEARS AGO?! Dang that's frustrating.
New topic. I have tomorrow off and nothing to do. What to do, what to do? I will probably knit knit knit, and think think think. Recipe for disaster? we will see.
Wedding: Beautiful, awesome, fun time. Cried more in public than I ever have, probably. Exhausted me physically and emotionally for a while, but I think I am back.
Post Wedding: Visited my Aunt Karen in the Appleton area. That was fun, but.... I was hung over and exhausted, like I said above. It was still good to see her.
Working: I couldn't care less about my job right now. I forget I have one even. At work, I knit (I am knitting a baby blanket for my big sister!), do 'homework' (wait for it), read, and hang out online. I don't even really care if I get caught right now. I would get three extra days off and lose a recommendation, boo hoo.
Home: I was home from Wednesday night through this morning. Saw mom's house progressing, got eaten alive by mosquitoes (I spelled that right on the first try!), saw two sets of fireworks without having too much anxiety and played some games with the family. I LOVE games. Fyi.
Church: sigh. Just got back from an 'outing'. We (the 2nd service group) visited Blackhawk church here in Madison. I was seriously unimpressed. I mean, it was an impressive place, but everything I like about my church was missing in this one. It was like we were in an auditorium. It was hokey. I dunno. It just made me queasy. Afterwards we went to Pasqual's on Monroe. Shared a margarita with Amanda and.... well, she would have been cut off if we were to continue, I believe. But, to her credit, they were strong margaritas. And then I rode 1.5 blocks home with her. Cause I could. In that amount of time, we talked about my leaving (ack!) and about going out with Greg. She said that she would push me to try a little harder if I weren't leaving. Do you people see how good this place and these people are for me? This is what I need, someone who cares enough to push me to do things that scare me. Example: first roller coaster ride - I needed to be forced to get on, then I cried all the way to the top, but realized that I loved it by the time it was over.
Why did I find this little niche of Madison with only 8 months before I left? Why couldn't I have found it, oh, I dunno, FOUR YEARS AGO?! Dang that's frustrating.
New topic. I have tomorrow off and nothing to do. What to do, what to do? I will probably knit knit knit, and think think think. Recipe for disaster? we will see.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Happy July, plus pictures
It's July. When did that happen? I mean, obviously about 18 hours ago, but really.... this summer is flying by. I am so not ready for the summer to be half over. Nope nope nope. I am also still not ready to blog about this incredible weekend. But I am ready to share the photos with you. That is, if you promise to comment on at least one, because comments are like chocolate, or they would be if I didn't work at a chocolate shop. Maybe... comments are like crab rangoon. yeah..... mmmm.
All of my pictures, including those which you covet so much, Haute.
All of my pictures, including those which you covet so much, Haute.
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