Mixed up!

AH! I don't know what to think or how to feel. So many things feel like they are spinning me around and making me think and changing my emotions.

Wedding: Beautiful, awesome, fun time. Cried more in public than I ever have, probably. Exhausted me physically and emotionally for a while, but I think I am back.

Post Wedding: Visited my Aunt Karen in the Appleton area. That was fun, but.... I was hung over and exhausted, like I said above. It was still good to see her.

Working: I couldn't care less about my job right now. I forget I have one even. At work, I knit (I am knitting a baby blanket for my big sister!), do 'homework' (wait for it), read, and hang out online. I don't even really care if I get caught right now. I would get three extra days off and lose a recommendation, boo hoo.

Home: I was home from Wednesday night through this morning. Saw mom's house progressing, got eaten alive by mosquitoes (I spelled that right on the first try!), saw two sets of fireworks without having too much anxiety and played some games with the family. I LOVE games. Fyi.

Church: sigh. Just got back from an 'outing'. We (the 2nd service group) visited Blackhawk church here in Madison. I was seriously unimpressed. I mean, it was an impressive place, but everything I like about my church was missing in this one. It was like we were in an auditorium. It was hokey. I dunno. It just made me queasy. Afterwards we went to Pasqual's on Monroe. Shared a margarita with Amanda and.... well, she would have been cut off if we were to continue, I believe. But, to her credit, they were strong margaritas. And then I rode 1.5 blocks home with her. Cause I could. In that amount of time, we talked about my leaving (ack!) and about going out with Greg. She said that she would push me to try a little harder if I weren't leaving. Do you people see how good this place and these people are for me? This is what I need, someone who cares enough to push me to do things that scare me. Example: first roller coaster ride - I needed to be forced to get on, then I cried all the way to the top, but realized that I loved it by the time it was over.

Why did I find this little niche of Madison with only 8 months before I left? Why couldn't I have found it, oh, I dunno, FOUR YEARS AGO?! Dang that's frustrating.

New topic. I have tomorrow off and nothing to do. What to do, what to do? I will probably knit knit knit, and think think think. Recipe for disaster? we will see.

Home

Since I agreed to write posts about 'Home', I am posting a picture of my current home. It's pretty spectacular. The picture tells the whole story.This was what my house looked like 5 months ago: Gross, huh?

Anyway, I had a most excellent day! Church was generally wonderful, I sang seven different songs. It was a musically charged service today and then I was asked to sing with two other people at a service on Father's Day so we rehearsed that too. My roommate surprised me there too! Then there was a great fellowship afterward with chocolate fondue and brownies, punch with sorbet in it... mmmmmm And cheese balls (not the cheeto like things). Get this.... I asked out guyIlikefromchurch! We exchanged numbers. :) Go me. Oh, he is the pics from the speech proof. And he is not disabled.

After church, female roommate and I went for a walk in the arb. When I got back I fell asleep on the couch watching the Brewers kick the pants off of Houston. Then Dad showed up and we went canoing out to picnic point and back. I did NOT have a panic attack like last time! Woo hoo! I wasn't even nervous. Then dad and I walked down state st to Tutto Pasta... (yummy) and shared some cold stone on the way back (cake batter with brownies and strawberries).

It was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL day, weather wise. I don't think it could have been more perfect. 80 degrees, partly cloudy, no humidity, no bugs. If I could live everyday like today, I would without hesitation.

Its May. Thank God

It's Monday and I am happy, calm and rested. What is wrong with this picture? Nothing, I say. This is how it should be, always. My weekend was full of friends, exercise, fresh air and freedom.

The things that I enjoyed most about going to Trempealeau with my friends wasn't the canoeing that we planned. It was the random, spontaneous adventures we had. The weather was summery (cool, but still) so it reminded me of exactly how I used to spend my childhood summers. I was nine again, having a sleep over at a friends house. Something about sundown accentuates this feeling, so on Saturday I was just crazy with happiness. Nikita and I staged a stand off in her front yard while her parents and brother looked on. I climbed a tree (kind of. You know I am too fearful to go too high) and played with dogs. We played board games. I got to feed some cows. I even got to go for a 4 wheeler ride.

While we canoed on Saturday morning, I talked with Nikita's cousin. She taught English in Japan and Poland, so you can imagine that I was excited to talk to her about it. She reassured me just by talking about it that I will love it. She said that once I have my TESL (teaching english as a second language certification) that I can go ANYWHERE with it. She gave me advice about my resume and tips to get me placed in Europe. I feel so much better about it and it seems more like it will really happen now. I have renewed excitement.

Of course, we also ate and ate and ate. We stayed with parents, and you know how parents can be. I also ran and hiked up a bluff and went for walks and canoed, so hopefully it balanced out somehow. My pictures from this weekend are on my picasa photo albums.

All in all, it was a GREAT weekend and a much needed break from the hustle of my everyday life. I hope everyone can have a weekend like this every once in a while.