Mike from Florida

Today I had the anxiety producing experience of not being able to connect to the internet anywhere in the apartment. So I fled. The fleeing was planned in advance, so I guess it doesn't count as such. Anyway. When I returned to the apartment(after spending 90 minutes at Panera Bread where I freaked out because the stupid power button on my laptop is kaput and I didn't have the remote. And yes, my laptop has a remote) it STILL wasn't working. So Roommate called Charter. Got it fixed up, but not before almost having a verbal war with the Charter lady... it was entertaining. BUT! Whilst this was happening, I accidentally put my computer on stand by. On stand by, the remote doesn't work either, so I was freaking out, thinking that I couldn't shut my computer off, so I would have to wait for the battery to die, and do you know how long that could take on STAND BY?! Then I remembered that I could take the battery out. Success! But, the internet STILL wouldn't love me long time like it should.

So I called charter back, and this is where I met my new husband, Mike from Florida. He had me doing backflips on my computer, all 'run' this and 'ipconfig' that. Sigh. I learned that I had only been to the 'good, country' parts of Florida, and that if I had gone further south, all they have are cubans, more cubans and confused white people. I asked if they had a lot of OLD people, and he responded "Yeah, those are the confused white people". We had a small spat about who has the worst drivers though, but I think it's just cause we love each other so much - it was a lover's quarrel. I still maintain that FIBs are the worst, but I could see how hoards of confused old white people in motorized vehicles would be frightening. After 22 minutes we were married AND I was back online. It was all I ever wanted, and more!